Recovery takes time

I am not a nutritionist, I am not a psicologist and I am not a doctor. But hopefully, you will be able to relate to this and find it usefull.

You probably know how it starts, at first it doesn't look like something you should worry about. " I'm fine" "It's my body, leave me alone" "It all starts very gently.
One day you become conscient about it, you asssume you have a problem but you still have it under control, nothing's wrong, you're not like those girls in the pictures where you can only see the bones and the cuts.
Next thing you know is that you do have and eating disorder but Who cares? You know it's wrong, but it's working. Except one day you realize how far you've come and it starts scaring you because you wish you could eat normally, you want to stop starving yourself but you're terrified of getting fat again. And that's when you start fighting against ED's.

First of all, you need to get something in your mind: it's not your fault! DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!
There's nobody to blame, noone is guilty.

You already acomplished one of the most important steps to recovery: the "wanting to". And this is crucial because you must want it so bad that no matter how many times you fail and how hard it will be, you will NEVER GIVE UP. And you will try again. Recovery is not magical, it will take time. You must learn to feal comfortable about yourself, you need to truly believe that you are nothing less than beautiful.

The next step you need to take is the "coming out", telling people about your goal. It doesn't matter if you tell your best friend, your online friends or someone else but you need to convince yourself and have support. Get help!

What you have to do next is eliminate your support network, get rid of all the pro-ana and mia blogs, "thinspiration", unfollow the twitter accounts, the forums and everything that may bring negative thoughts again. It will feel easier and you won't have to resist temptation from the others while you're already fighting against yourself. Then try looking for something that inspires you, a passion, a hobby, find a motivation, listen to happy music, search inspirational quotes. Anything that makes you want to go on.

Finally, you must slowly have a rebalancing diet.